Full transparency? Is there such a thing anymore? Well. I stink at life more often than I feel compelled to admit. I make hot-headed choices. I let my temper be a stumbling block. I have no control over my emotions. My mouth used to be that of a sailer, and now I fight every day to not slip. There are days when not a single curse word passes through my lips. Then, there are days when they slip out multiple times a day. I wake up with goals to get through the day, but more often than not those goals are blown to pieces by noon. I wonder some days if there is any part of me that’s even capable of living up to God’s expectations of me...or even half of His expectations. Then, comes a sleepless night when I have an epiphany and a shift in goals and priorities. That’s usually followed up with a control struggle.
Well, here I am begging for prayers. I have to set a better example for not only my children but my husband as well. Y’all, I want—no I NEED— CHANGE in my life. How do I expect change without changing? I have got to let go of things and people who don’t make me the best version of me. At the end of the day, holding on to those things is not what God wants if they are stumbling blocks in my attempt at a faithful walk or they set the stage for me to be someone else’s stumbling block. Things that take up my mind and leave no room for Him have no place here.
I am mentally struggling, y’all. I need your prayers. Thanks in advance.
As I finished this writing, God spoke and said:
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
I wish I were stronger.
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