What Matters Most

I started this business as a way to bring in extra cash doing something I love. I can work at my own pace and still be Mom, and that's my number one priority and always has been. I never want photography to become a job I hate. My first step was talking to others in the business. Through doing that, I was able to get an idea about what I ultimately wanted to accomplish. My goals for this business were to make it respectable and meaningful to myself and others. I know my worth. I know the worth of my work. I know the worth of my time. I have learned not to settle for mediocrity in my work and to make sure others know that about me. In doing so, I have learned pricing directly coincides with my goals. Learning to put all these things together has given me a sense of accomplishment. I still haven't mastered the Proverbs Woman mentality, but I am getting there. I have posted it before, but I will post it again as a guide to others who may be curious as to what I am referencing. I have to refer to it often while trying to get myself in check.

Proverbs 31: 10-30

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

What better checklist in life should there be? This is a woman who works hard and earns the respect of her family while helping her husband lead the household spiritually. This woman knows that what she does is good, and she can make a living off it confidently. This woman uses her God-given strengths to make a life for herself and her family while acknowledging the worth of her husband and his role as leader of the household. I read it and I go back and forth between shame and inspiration. I strive to be like this woman, and I fail miserably most days. Just knowing that these are my goals, ultimately makes me better off than I would be otherwise...and let's not forget the days when I get it right.

In order to keep up the goal of still fulfilling my role as Mom, I have to accept a certain amount of jobs. There are times when I exceed that amount and times when I accept less jobs than that amount. At the end of the day, my workload sets the tone for my family life, and my family life always comes first. I still probably take on more than I should, because the role of Mom also includes coach, chauffeur, cook, youth leader, etc. This summer alone I managed to back myself into a corner by signing up for two graduate courses in addition to everything else. Sometimes, I have to back up and punt. I have always had to ask myself if I am willing to let any of the roles I play in my kids' lives slide in order to have a business of my own (or any career for that matter). The answer is and always will be a hard no. My children always come first.

Taking all that into consideration, I can't run a successful business off of my kids' whims either. In doing so, I would not be reaching my goal of a respectable business. What am I teaching my kids if they see me not running a business right? I want to teach them about everything and that includes ethics. A lot of planning goes into getting the schedule right and meeting the needs of not only my kids but my clients as well.

So how can I accomplish all my goals? First of all, I had to learn to say a really ugly word. This word brings terror and anger to small children. This word brings out the ugly in adults and is maybe the hardest word for me to say in the entire dictionary....even harder than Worcestershire! The word is, "no." I had to learn to say it and mean it. I have to say it to my kids when they want something that unreasonably interferes with my work, and I have to say it to myself when my work unreasonably interferes with my kids. I had to learn how to make it easier to say "no." That's where knowing my worth comes in. This was excellent advice given to me by at least three other reputable photographers in the area. KNOW YOUR WORTH, and saying "no" becomes so much easier.

I set up my pricing guide based on how I value my time. Knowing what my time is worth (my time with my kids, my time with my husband, my time with my parents and siblings' families) made it so much easier to set my prices. Another photographer told me, "You have to be okay with people not wanting to pay your prices, because there are people out there who ARE willing to pay." Undercutting yourself might drum up business, but it is a recipe for disaster. I never wanted to become so overwhelmed that this business becomes a "job." I know if that happens, I will be done. If I have unrealistically low prices, I would never be doing anything else, and I would be sending the message to my kids that my work is more important than my time with them. Mama ain't got time for that. My work would suffer as well. I have to be able to take my time and edit things right. I want my best work shown every single time.

While I know my own worth, I also value others. I know when God wants me to cut a break or give something away. We weren't meant to hideaway our talents and use them for only our own good. In Matthew, God says trade your talents and receive more talents. Talents in the parable mentioned was actually money, but the concept is the same. If He gave it to you, it's to be used for the good and more good will be received. I receive blessings by being able to gift things. The blessings come in the form of gratitude. This comes as an opportunity to be gracious that God has given me something worth gifting. Using those gifts to glorify Him....isn't that the ultimate goal? According to Job 1:21, He giveth and He taketh away...if it's not being used for His glory, would He take it away? I don't want to know.

This all stems from a lesson we had last night at church. This lesson put a lot of things in perspective for me. It's funny to me that God knows I am a teacher, and He knows His best way to reach me with His Word is to have me teach it. I always worry about my purpose in life, but after the lesson last night, I am so happy with the choices I have made in what I now consider a career. I know those choices are God-driven and will be used for His Glory. I see things every day at which I can do better. In that, I know that knowing my worth also means being humbled in my weaknesses. God says I am more valuable than rubies to Him. It is high time I start living up to such praise. My ultimate goal is to use my talent as a lamp, because Jesus is the light.